


The Day Voldemort Went Even More Insane

by X_WelshAngel_X



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bunny Slipper, Crack, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Insanity, Song Lyrics, What Was I Thinking?, my little pony - Freeform, the Pit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1577420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/X_WelshAngel_X/pseuds/X_WelshAngel_X
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Voldemort just got even more insane! Come inside and see!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day Voldemort Went Even More Insane

**Author's Note:**

> A.N. Hey all just wanted to say that Harry Potter is in no way mine. Also I would like to credit my cousin as my beta.

**_ The day Voldemort went even more insane. _ **

It was a normal Monday morning and Lord Voldemort had just gotten out of the shower and put his pink fluffy dressing gown on; with matching bunny slippers... I mean green and with snakes just what you’d expect from the Slytherin King, not bunnies; not at all. He gazed into the mirror and brushed his wavy blond hair that he was sure was there. He had called a meeting for today as this was the day he would kill Potter once and for all, again… He put on his robe, that of course was not pink with love hearts on the sleeves, and went down to the meeting hall were all his friends were; I mean minions. ‘ _Damn what is wrong with me today’_ thought Voldemort. 

Walking into the hall, all the death eaters stared in shock and horror as they caught sight of their Dark Lord in his robe that had to be a little girls robe enlarged.

“My Death Eaters!” began the most feared wizard of this time, “What a weird name; Death Eaters… Perhaps I’ll change it to, uhmm... I know! The Sugarplum Furies! Everyone shall fear that name!”

Voldemort looked around the hall as he made his way to his throne of Muggle skulls. He took out his Yew wand with Phoenix feather core and transformed it into a pink thrown with My Little Pony on the side; this was also stolen from a little girls dressing up table.

He stared at the people before him, their eye wide and mouths slack.

“Today is the day we get Potter,” whispered Tom gleefully.

“My Lord, we have never been able to get Potter before-“began Minion 56.

“FOOL! You dare question me?! Lord Voldypants?! I mean Lord Voldemort... Call me Tom instead of Lord Voldemort from now on. I’m feeling informal. For questioning me you shall be sent to the pit!” interrupted the wizard who used to be called Lord Voldemort.

“Err, what pit, My- I mean, Tom?” questioned an slick voice from the crowd.

The newly renamed Tom looked around until he spotted a random stone on the ground. He then transfigured it into a children’s ball pit with multicoloured balls. The Death Eaters stared at the ball pit with increasing fear. Minion 56 started to back away slowly from what was looking to be a slow death.

“Minion 35, take Minion 56 to the Pit, capital letter,” Looking at minion 56 he said “I’m sorry to have to do this but you leave me no choice. You will be missed...Now everyone meet the new Minion 56!” An unconscious man was dragged into the hall and dumped in a corner.

“Now back to my ultimate evil plan! MWHAAAAA HEE HEE!”

“It goes something like this,” Voldemort stood up and sang:

  
 _“In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning  
And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be --  
It scared me out of my wits --  
A corpse falling to bits!  
Then I opened my eyes  
And the nightmare was...me!!  
_  
 _“I was once the most mystical man in all Russia._  
When the royals betrayed me they made a mistake!  
My curse made each of them pay  
But one little girl got away!  
Little Harry, beware,  
Voldie’s awake!”  
  
At this point all of the Minions joined in and sang the chorus-not knowing why…:

 _“In the dark of the night evil will find her!  
In the dark of the night just before dawn!  
Aah...”  
_  
Voldemort added his baritone voice to the harmony, _“Revenge will be sweet!”  
_  
The Minions started a sway/dance sort of thing and belted out another line, _“When the curse is complete!”_  
  
Everything went quiet and then the female Death Eaters, sorry Sugarplum Furies, sang softly, _“In the dark of the night…”_  
  
Crashing cymbals echoed throughout the stone chamber, Toms voice boomed out loud and clear,  
 _“She'll be gone!  
I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!  
Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!  
As the pieces fall into place  
I'll see her crawl into place!  
Dasvidanya, Harry, your grace, farewell!”  
_  
In the backround the Minions started their harmony again, _“In the dark of the night terror will strike her!”  
_  
Tom span around as the ‘Sugarplum Furies’ circled him. _“Terror's the least I can do!”  
_  
The chorus rung out, _“In the dark of the night evil will brew. Ooh!”_  
  
 _“Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real!”  
_  
 _“In the dark of the night!”_ sung the Minions, who were more or less stuck on repeat.  
  
 _“She'll be through!”_ cried the Dark Lord.  
  
 _“In the dark of the night_  
Evil will find her!” bellowed the male Minions.

 _“Find her!”_ the females echoed.  
  
 _“In the dark of the night terror comes true!”_

_“Doom her!”_

_“My dear, here's a sign -!”_ began  Voldemort.

 _“It's the end of the line!”_ chorused the Minions.

_“In the dark of the night..._

_“In the dark of the night..._

_“In the dark of the night...”_ you can guess who sung that part…

 _“Come my minions,_  
Rise for your master,  
Let your evil shine!  
Find her now,  
Yes, fly ever faster!”  


 _“In the dark of the night..._  
In the dark of the night...  
In the dark of the night...” chanted the Minions

 _“She'll be mine!”_ finished Tom with a flounce, and all fell silent.

 “Hey, isn’t Potter a boy?” Minion 99 asked.

Minion 43 added “Yeah and you ain’t Russian bruv!”

Minion 105 teary whispered, “I can’t fly,”

“To the Pit with all of you! You disgrace me... Now we need new minion’s number 99, 43 and 105... WORMTAIL fetch me the waiting list... Now where can I buy some flying monkeys?’

 

Hundreds of miles away a boy woke up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up along the way.

“Nightmares mate?” asked Ronald Weasley sympathetically.

“The worst,” Harry replied, wondering what he ate to have such a frightful nightmare that could be in no way true.

 

THE END.


End file.
